do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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