Whats the glycemic index on semen?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
