His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
