Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
