If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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