How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
