STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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