Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
