so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
