a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
