wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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