I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
