We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
