Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Randomize
