Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
