New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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