Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
