Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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