I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
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