Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
