Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
