you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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