So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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