U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
