he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
