Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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