So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
