i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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