I love black thongs
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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