Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
