I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
