I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
