My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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