If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
