I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
