Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
