Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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