its not stalking. its research.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
