Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
