Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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