I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So many bounce houses so little time
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
