..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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