i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
this hospital has no fireball
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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