Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
