How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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