I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
