Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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