we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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