are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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