so that wasnt chicken after all
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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