I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
