Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
