he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
