trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
