girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
