Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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