I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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