I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
