he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
