My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
