So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
