it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
