Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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